Another reason I'm paranoid of "coming out" and telling my family and friends that I no longer beleive the doctrines and teachings of the LDS church is because I am not a good debater. I hate confrontation. I hate having to tell someone else that I think they are wrong.
Sometimes I think it would be better for me to run off to the mountains and remove myself from civilization rather than have to explain to those I love why I can't beleive the same as they. The thought of it gives me trepidation beyond normal paranoia of which I have become accustomed.
I guess the problem comes down to this... how do I explain my new position on life and the cosmos without hurting their feelings, at the same time giving them a reason to think that I am high and mighty in my thinking that I could think something different than them. I truly feel as though I have come out of the darkness into a new world of enlightenment, but I cannot tell them that without the underlying aspect that I think that they are blindly believing and ignorant.
Blind faith does weird things to ones thought process of which I'm rewiring my own brain to do without. I am coming to the realization that God is man made, religion is man made, faith is dangerous when used by those men who use religion, and those who beleive have not looked long or hard enough about what they actually beleive in. I cannot say those things to those I love because I know that it will put a wedge between us. I despise religion for this. I cannot see any way around it except to keep as quiet as possible and not assert my own understanding of religion in their presence. To do so will only strain the relationships that I hold dear.
Is there any way around this dilemma?